


Falling for the Sweetness of Loving You

by StardustDreamMate



Series: Gods and Spirits (and a little bit of humans too) [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, Descriptions of Burns (not graphic), Established Relationship, Insecurities, M/M, Magic, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slightly aged-up characters, Water Spirits, some peril
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StardustDreamMate/pseuds/StardustDreamMate
Summary: As the gods and spirits of their decimated world gather to watch the island rise, all Chenle can feel is fear. He’s never known what it feels like to drown, but if he had to guess, this would be it. How is he to protect his realm, his subjects, and his most precious person in this world when one of the grandest cliffhangers of the century has the power to burn them all to ashes?
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: Gods and Spirits (and a little bit of humans too) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022362
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Falling for the Sweetness of Loving You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovelies~ This is the second part to my mythological world (not really necessary to read the first part I don’t think, but it might help), and it’s a *little* more intense than the first one. When I said I was relieved to do a little less plot? Yeah, I changed my mind haha. Anyway~ I hope you’ll enjoy~ 
> 
> I don't speak for or represent any of the real-life NCT members in any way. This is by no means an accurate representation of them, and everything in here is a fictional representation of their personalities. I mean zero harm to any and all of them; this is a work of fiction.

Chenle stands at the edge of his river, his freshwaters spilling into the salty ones of the ocean, and watches quietly, feeling the pull of magic that created them all. It is luring them all to the same place, to the island in the middle of the sea, buried under the waves that crest higher and higher every year leading up to this time. 

This year had been particularly violent: whales beached by the dozens, left to become food for the humans, waves wiping out entire seaside towns without mercy, swept away without a trace, birds straying from their migratory patterns so hard that it was impossible for them to get back on track, knocked entirely off-kilter. 

All because of this one event, this game-changer of the natural world. 

Although Chenle has never witnessed one, he was given the memories of the water, and from what his predecessor nymph has left him, the island's risings are never this violent, this dramatic, this elaborate. Instead, they are often announced quietly and subtly, through the abundance of schooling fish to the porpoises leaping from the seas. The island rising is a good thing, never a bad one, so why does this one seem so dangerous?

Chenle does not know. 

Perhaps it has something to do with the death of the gods. Perhaps the island can sense the void in the world, and it seeks to fill it once again. Perhaps it’s simply old and unstable. 

Nevertheless, Chenle had sent Jisung away for his own protection, not wanting him to be in the village during this meeting of deities, this convergence of powers. He had hugged Jisung goodbye with a shaky heart, something inside him telling him that when his best friend, his boyfriend, came back, their lives would never be the same again. He could feel it in the magic, a sense of anticipation that refused to disperse. 

A reckoning was coming on the tides. 

Chenle clutches his clothes a little closer to his sides, twisting around a little to look behind him as if reassuring himself that his river is still there. There is no reason to think it wouldn't be; if it disappeared, Chenle disappeared too. Clearly nothing has happened to it. 

Regardless, something is nagging at him about this year's rising. 

He's interrupted from his morbid thoughts by a voice that steps up next to him and announces, “you've grown a lot over the past nineteen years.”

"Jaemin!”

He throws himself into the arms that await him openly, wrapping his own around the deity who has been his friend since his creation, surrounding himself in the scent of coffee beans and vanilla. 

Jaemin laughs indulgently, hugging Chenle back with equal amounts of enthusiasm before letting him go and brushing the white fringe out of his eyes. 

“I’d injury-check you,” he teases, “but you’re not a baby spirit anymore. Now you’re, like, pint-sized.” He smiles lazily, brown eyes twinkling with mischief. 

Chenle huffs but replies anyway: “I’m twenty-two years old, thank you!” 

“So,” Jaemin drawls, laying down in a patch of grass on the beach and propping his head up nonchalantly on his hands, “you’re about two hundred and seventy-four years younger than me. Like I said. Pint-sized.” 

He sticks his tongue out maturely at his friend, but they both sober up pretty quickly as the shoreline starts to recede. 

It’s starting. 

The crabs and clams that were buried under the sand start to emerge as the water draws back into itself, starting to swirl just before the horizon where the sky meets the sea. They all scuttle away from the waves, forming eerie lines on the edges of the beach, watching the ocean with clicking pincers and swivelling eyes. 

_Master Chenle, Na Jaemin-ssi, an honour,_ one of the hermit crabs rumbles, inclining its claws and dipping into a bow towards them as it passes, scuttling across the river’s rock bridge to the other side. Chenle smiles at them, pulling the water just a little lower so that the saltwater crab can cross, but another unidentifiable _thing_ twinges in his stomach. 

His waters must be freezing right now from the strength of his anxiety. 

A few more sea creatures greet them as they disperse from the sands, and by now, the whirlpool has formed entirely, creating a vortex of water on the edge of the earth. It won’t be long before the island starts to emerge. 

He and Jaemin trade knowing looks, but Chenle doesn’t ask what’s on his mind. He already knows why Jaemin is here; there’s no other reason for a non-natural deity to be at the island rising. 

He’s curious. Maybe even nervous. After all, Jaemin has been around a lot longer than Chenle, and he knows how these things work. He’s met the deities that have spawned from the concentration of magic, and he’s lived through the fallouts they created. 

The truth is, new deities are dangerous. 

They spawn every hundred years off the island that rises from the deep, only one at a time. The huge concentrations of natural energy, or magic, left in the world mean that most of the deities born off the island are of the earth and the areas of its domain. 

But the real kicker? 

In the aftermath of the death of the old Pantheon, after humans lost faith in the gods, the island could be the sole provider of new divinities. 

New power brought into a world devastated by the end of an ancient one. 

There’s a reason every remaining god and spirit in creation has congregated here. No one knows what will happen. 

From what Chenle has been able to glean, the last deity spawned was named Xiaojun, born during the Pantheon, and he was floral, nothing more than a more powerful forest nymph. And although flowers are relatively harmless, other deities have not been. 

Being newly born means being out of touch with your powers, no matter how grown you are at creation. There was Yukhei, who formed earthquakes every time he moved, sending booming shock waves through the world with just a touch, and Renjun, who froze half the world with just a thought. 

Dangerous. 

Chenle remembers the good days of the Pantheon, the revelries and the kingdoms they built within themselves. Gods of the earth, gods of the watery world, gods of the underground, gods of the skies, the sun, the wind. The _humans._ He remembers the harmony that existed before the humans brought about the end of the gods, before their greed turned on the spirits, left behind hapless. 

What he does not remember is the politics of it all. Before, he hadn’t needed to know; nymphs were not important in these things. He hadn’t needed to attend these things because there were other gods to worry about them. His river was safe because it was connected to Johnny’s sea; Johnny would take care of any potential issues for him. 

Johnny died with the rest of the Pantheon. 

Now, Chenle’s river is his sole responsibility, his life force, and his home. He will be damned if he doesn’t protect it for as long as he lives. And so, here he is, bearing witness to the prospective birth of a new natural god, water swirling around his arms in agitated bands. 

Anyone who can overturn the seas around the island is either a powerful friend or a powerful enemy. 

And Chenle would much rather make friends. 

Even so, it’s much safer to keep Jisung away until he finds out what they will be. All of the spirits and deities left are either natural like Chenle or minor like Jaemin, not needing worship to survive. Yet, they all have one thing in common: dislike for humans. 

Really, he can’t blame them. 

They did nearly kill them, after all. Also, they trafficked hundreds of spirits into deaths of deprivation and exploitation. 

Not exactly a casual conversation starter. 

Apparently, he and Jaemin were on the same train of thought because his friend pipes up next to him. 

“Hey, your baby human? Did you tell him what’s going on?” Jaemin glances over at him with an unreadable look in his eyes, fixated on a point just behind Chenle’s left ear. 

“Jisung? Yeah, I did, why?” Chenle ignores the weird look on his friend’s face and continues staring out at the ocean. He thinks he can see the thick green fronds of a palm tree starting to emerge from the whirlpool. 

There’s still no visible signs of the power that had reverberated through the land and sea. 

“Did you tell him that it was unsafe and that he needed to stay away?” 

“Also yes. Why? What are you looking at, Jaem?” Chenle turns to look at him inquisitively, but Jaemin’s still looking over his shoulder with no regard to the island they both came here to see. 

Jaemin points. “I don’t think he listened.” 

Chenle whips around, the current in his chest stuttering with fear as he takes in the mop of navy blue hair peeking out from under a lily pad about twenty metres away. 

“Oh, Jisung, why can’t you just listen to me?” Chenle drops his face into his hands. 

〜

After some ear-tugging and forceful commands, Chenle gets Jisung to comply with at least one request: Stay out of sight. 

They hide him in the river with a few spells and more of the river weed Jisung so casually plucked (Chenle is seriously regretting telling him where the grove was), and Chenle stands in it with him out of solidarity, on the very brink of where salt meets fresh, hoping that no one will question it. 

Jaemin looks amused by the whole thing, but as the trunk of the palm tree starts to appear, he quits making jokes about Chenle and his “lover.” 

They’re all waiting now. 

_Perhaps,_ Chenle thinks wildly, _the end of the gods is the end of the island! Maybe we’ll all be safe forevermore!_

Unfortunately, even he knows that’s suspiciously wishful thinking; the island is far too powerful to end with the Pantheon. 

He supposes nature is strange that way. 

After a little while of watching new trees emerge steadily on the horizon, Chenle gets bored, and it seems Jisung does too because his boyfriend touches his calf under the water and draws a question mark on it. 

Chenle sighs, half-endeared and half-frustrated at his boyfriend’s inability to listen, but he spirals a thread of water up from the lake and up to his ear so he can hear what Jisung says next. 

_Yes, my lovely moron?_ He can feel Jisung’s snort. 

_You look very pretty today,_ Jisung says instead of defending himself, tracing a heart on the skin of his leg. _I love when you use your natural form above and below water._

Chenle flushes red, scoffing just a little bit as he preens internally. He’s still not able to wrap his head around how much he loves Jisung and his innate sweetness, but he also knows that his boyfriend is trying to wheedle his way out of trouble. 

_Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Sungie._

_It wasn’t flattery, just my honest thoughts. I always think you’re beautiful, but I love it even more when you_ know _you’re beautiful. I’m happy you feel more comfortable as yourself now._

Chenle blushes again, and this time his water heats up as well. Jisung’s laugh bubbles through the tendril in his ear, full of mirth, and he presses a kiss to the back of Chenle’s knee between giggles. The nymph just pouts. 

_You’re too sappy,_ he whines, ruffling Jisung’s hair under the water, feeling the strands swirl around under his touch. 

_Only for you._

They smile in mutual adoration for each other before it’s broken by Jaemin rushing back over from where he had been talking to Renjun. 

“Destructive energy, Renjun says,” Jaemin announces, arms crossed over his chest and looking pensive. “He said it feels like a twin to his own, that the power forming over there is a mirror of his.” 

“More ice?” Chenle inquires, nudging Jisung just a little lower in the water when a few dryads pass by. They giggle and flirt with Jaemin who just bows and winks, kissing a few dainty hands, but they move on relatively quickly. 

Chenle takes in another deep breath. His nerves are singing with anticipation, and he’s never wanted to be somewhere else more than he does right now. With Jisung here as well, he only feels more anxious and on edge. 

“I don’t know, but Renjun seems really nervous. It’s unlike him. Maybe I should go find Hendery? He’s never been wrong about a prediction yet.” 

That’s true, actually. Hendery is one of the oldest gods left, and he resides in the mountain range beyond the great forests around Chenle’s river basin. As the most experienced, he’s developed an uncanny ability to predict the domain of the new beings almost entirely without fail. Granted, some of his predictions are a little weak (Chenle’s been told _several_ times that everyone knew old Yuta, May he Rest In Peace, would be a wind god), but he’s better than nothing. 

Chenle nods. “Yeah, that might be a good idea.” 

Jaemin takes off. 

At this point, some of the vines of the jungle are starting to appear below the trunks, and the energy is starting to thrum through the air as birds land on the shores. Soon, the island will start to drift nearer to the land. 

_Is it happening soon?_ Jisung asks. 

_Maybe. I don’t know how long these take, but there was a reason I sent you away. It might not be safe here for a while depending on the deity who spawns. I love you to pieces, but there are parts of my world that won’t accept you and can hurt you, and this is one of them._

Jisung pulls a face underwater that Chenle can _sense_ , and he gives in to dip under the water for just a few seconds. 

And _gods,_ if that wasn’t a mistake. 

His boyfriend looks very pretty as well, hair fanning out around him like a halo, ripples creating shadows that roll across his face in waves. He’s beautiful outside of water, but he’s ethereal under it, every inch of his body moving fluidly in an entirely captivating way. From the crook of his brows to the quirk of his mouth, Chenle is enraptured by Jisung’s beauty. 

As he attempts to collect the shreds of his composure, Jisung reaches out to cup his cheek in his palm, stroking his thumb over the smattering of aquamarine scales decorating his cheekbone. 

_I know you didn’t want me here. I just couldn’t bear the thought of leaving you to face something dangerous alone._ Sugar stains the brown of his irises, nothing but sweetness pouring out of his soul. He made Chenle fish-buns once with sugar and spice and everything nice, and to this day, he still thinks that Jisung is a gorgeous blend of all three. 

And so, while he’s distracted, Jisung presses their lips together in a gentle kiss, and Chenle’s eyes fall shut as he falls into the rhythm, kissing back for all he’s worth. When they separate for a second so Jisung can regain his breath, Chenle’s heart stutters.

_Jisung—_

He can’t finish his sentence before he’s yanked up and out of the water by his armpits and shaken out incredibly violently. One utterly flabbergasted Na Jaemin is staring him in the face, fingers still digging into the tender skin of his arms. 

“What were you thinking?!” He hisses, staring into Chenle’s eyes wildly. “You could have been caught! There are deities everywhere! The island is almost here! Everyone’s anxious! _What_ were you _doing?_ ” 

Protest aside in favour of concern, Chenle looks up only to realize that Jaemin is right; the island is less than twenty metres from the shore, and he can see the energy swirling on the sand.

Destructive energy if Renjun is to be believed. 

In about ten minutes, it will condense into a deity, and the island’s bridge will connect both realms for an hour before it’ll fall back into the sea as if it had never existed. 

A new deity could exist in their world. 

Judging by the swirling vortex of energy, Chenle doesn’t think _not_ acquiring a deity is particularly prospective. 

Heart starting to thrum with the current in his blood, he turns back to Jaemin with wide eyes, taking stock of the beings around him. Some wind nymphs are a little too close for his comfort, and a few sprites are peering curiously at his river. There are some sea creatures scattered sporadically across the sands, but none look interested in his proceedings. 

There’s no nothing. 

And _that’s_ what worries him. 

“Do you know if anyone saw anything?” He whispers, ripples running through his river behind him to echo his agitation. He sees Jisung shift against the riverbank, the rock they had glamoured onto him rippling with the movement. His heart seizes before his beloved settles and his camouflage anchors back into place. 

Chenle tries to tell himself that it’s fine. _You’re so attuned to him,_ he tells himself. _You only saw him move because you’re always subconsciously aware of where he is._

He’s not sure he believes himself. 

“I don’t think they do, but you have to be more careful. If they know you have a weakness, they _will_ exploit it. Trading a river nymph to the humans in exchange for worship is something most of them aren’t above, Chenle. They could use Jisung to hurt you, and you can’t let that happen.” 

“I know.” Chenle breathes out slowly and shakily as Jaemin lets go of his shoulders. There’s a reason he wanted Jisung away from this power. There’s a reason _he_ stays away from all this power. 

Roughly twenty deities left in the world, all of them natural or minor, nine females, eight men, and three who don’t identify, and all of them are gathered here. Chenle doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to wrap his head around the raw energy coalesced in one location.

Nature gods, for the most part, are entirely harmless and neutral, but their powers take root in the chaos and unforgiving nature of, well, _nature._ There’s an unpredictability to them that the old Pantheon, Johnny and Kun and Taeyong and so many others, didn’t have. 

Chenle doesn’t enjoy the uncertainty. Not now, when he has someone precious to protect. 

And so they wait. 

〜

Finally, Chenle watches as the island shudders into place, a final ripple of energy wavering through the air in a rainbow sunburst. It feels as if the world is holding its breath, time frozen still, as the magic on the island pools into a humanoid form. 

And all of a sudden, the island bursts into flames. 

Chenle shies away from the sheer force of the explosion, heat radiating off the blaze that turns his waters to a boil. He can feel the liquid twining around his arms evaporate into steam, and he barely has enough time to freeze a pocket around Jisung before the heat intensifies, burning a few dryads next to him into ash. 

All around the shoreline, spirits, animals, and deities are bursting into flames. Some, like Yangyang, managed to put theirs out. Others are not so lucky, and like many of the satyrs, centaurs, and dryads, they simply burn away into nothing under the press of the white conflagration. 

Thrusting his hands out into the air and immersing his body up to his thighs, Chenle begins to pull on the water, twisting it and manipulating it to keep it cold, willing himself into stoicism to protect his domain. 

As Chenle scrambles to shield his realm from extinction, he keeps an eye on the figure, wreathed in flame. The inferno raising literal hell on the island seems to have stunned all of the beings watching it, for not a single one moves to stop the deity who slowly walks across the land bridge, arms down at their sides, slightly apart from their body, silhouetted by the flames. 

Behind them, the palm tree crashes to the ground, the magical trunk that had stood strong for centuries burned clean through by a white flame. 

The cold dread that seeps into Chenle’s soul only fuels his magic. 

The sea creatures cower away from the flames, hiding under the sand and escaping into the waves as the new deity approaches, and the ashes of his fellow nymph brethren stain Chenle’s tongue with bitterness. Beyond them, the foliage of the island burns, magic seeping into the air in droves. 

Renjun had predicted destruction. Chenle doesn’t think he could have imagined this _much._

“You! What is your name?” Yukhei booms so loudly that it reverberates through the air. The apprehension is evident on his face, on _everyone’s_ faces. 

“My name is Haechan.” 

The sound of his voice sends shivers up Chenle’s spine as he feels Jisung press closer to him under the surface in what is supposed to be reassurance. With silver hair like the tip of a flame and sun-kissed skin, Haechan is beautiful, but his beauty is that of a bladed weapon, sharp and dangerous. 

Flames blaze in his eyes and they are _wild,_ untamable. His power is one that is more potent than Ten’s, the god of death. It threatens to consume the world whole. 

“Control your flames, child, or we will do it for you.” Hendery’s voice wafts over the clearing with a surety that brooks no argument. 

Chenle watches, petrified, as Haechan turns those uncanny eyes on the mountain god, cocking his head curiously as if contemplating the rocks embedded in his skin. He looks youthful, childlike. 

The screams start a second later.

In less than twenty, Hendery is gone. 

The smoke that rises smells of metal. 

As roars fill the clearing, Chenle has but one thought: _Jisung._

With a strength he didn’t know he possessed, he gathers all the power he can muster and _forces_ the water to take Jisung back to the palace. Every fibre of his being protests the power surge, but his element complies, ripping Jisung from the edge of the sea and sequestering him as far away from harm as Chenle can take him. He knows his boyfriend will be upset at him later, but he knows he cannot protect both of them together. And he knows that if it came down to it, he’d lay down his own life for Jisung’s, and _that_ would never be forgiven. 

Two of the female deities rush at Haechan, whipping out wind and water to try to subdue him, but he flicks a hand at them and flames consume their bodies, bubbling up their flesh hideously before Yukhei douses them with a stomp that produces a crashing wave of water.

Chenle can’t help but think they’re lucky to leave with their lives. Immortality is not invulnerability, and the flames are no match for most of them. 

_Most._

He and Jaemin watch paralyzed as Renjun steps forward and out of the crowd, his slight frame looking entirely out of place against the blaze that burns in front of him. He looks fragile, petite and slender, but Chenle knows how deceptive his appearance is. 

In reality, Renjun is one of the strongest left. 

His white hair mirrors Haechan’s, just as Renjun had said their powers would, and he approaches the new deity with his hands outstretched placatingly. Calm exudes from his entire being, and there’s no sign of any hostility or aggression in his posture, nor is there any evidence of his ice. 

Renjun’s voice carries effortlessly through the charged silence, punctuated only by the crackle of flames. 

“Please, try to calm yourself,” he says, stepping closer and closer to Haechan as he talks. To everyone’s surprise, the new deity backs away with every step Renjun takes, and Chenle tastes ash in his mouth again. Of all the deities who stand a chance against this new flamethrower, he can’t pick a single one better than Renjun, but that doesn’t stop the thought from plaguing him. 

_What if—_

“I know what it’s like to be newly born and without control of your powers. I’ve been there. Lost and alone. Confused.” Renjun’s words seem so honest, so careful, and all eyes are on him as he walks until Haechan has one foot in the waves, steam hissing off of it with every swell. 

“No, you don’t.” Haechan’s voice wavers just a little. “None of you do. You’ll try to kill me!” He chucks a fireball into Renjun’s arm, and Chenle stifles a scream behind his hands. Jaemin’s arm circles around him protectively. 

“I can help you,” Renjun repeats, dropping down to his knees in front of Haechan and stretching out a hand. It’s bubbling from the burns, and Chenle watches ice crystals grow over the damaged flesh. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.” 

Shocked whispers ripple through the crowd of spirits and deities. 

Promises are binding for gods. They don’t dissipate, and they’re ironclad agreements that stay set in stone exactly as they’re uttered. To be one of the most powerful beings in creation is to give up the ability to lie, to avoid fabricating something else into creation. 

And Renjun’s promise might have just cost him his life. 

“I have to go help him,” Jaemin whispers, a tear falling onto Chenle’s neck from his friend who has, at some point, wrapped himself entirely around Chenle’s numbed, trembling body. “I can’t let him sacrifice himself.”

Chenle realizes belatedly that he had forgotten how close Renjun and Jaemin are, and he sees the perilous thought form as the resolve hardens in his friend’s expression out of the corner of his eye. 

“No, no, NO—“ 

Chenle catches Jaemin just in time, right as he’s about to throw himself through the walls of flame that have sprung up on the mainland, and it takes everything he has left in him to keep the deity back, Jaemin’s fists pummeling his arms. 

“Let me go!” He sobs, trying to break free. “I have to save Renjun!” Their friendship goes back years, and to be honest, Chenle isn’t sure if they were ever lovers at some point or not. Judging by Jaemin’s behaviour, he would wager _yes._

With strength he didn’t know he possessed, he snaps a manacle of water around Jaemin’s wrist, tying him into the river stones, but in a burst of Herculean strength, his friend breaks free and Chenle has to grab him again. 

“No! Jaemin, _stop!_ You stopped me from doing something stupid, and now I’m going to stop you! You can’t do _anything_ to defend yourself! Don’t you understand? This is _suicide!_ Don’t throw away your life for this!” 

“Screw you! Let go of me!” 

As he looks for something else, something stronger to restrain Jaemin with, _anything_ , his eyes fall back upon the two deities in the surf, one of ice and one of fire; one on their knees, one standing tall. 

Time freezes in place, and for one horrible second, Chenle thinks that the world is going to explode. 

“Let me help you.” Renjun’s expression is serene, even as another burn decorates his skin, not yet encased in ice. Haechan is still alight in front of him, trembling within his cocoon of fire, and because Chenle’s looking, he sees the exact moment Haechan cracks. 

In an instant, the inferno disappears entirely, the crackling hiss of flames dissipating, the heat of a thousand suns fizzling away as Haechan falls to his knees in front of Renjun, his body steaming in the waves. 

“Please save me,” he whispers. 

〜

Chenle returns to Jisung in the middle of the night. He’s tired from helping restore the grove at the edge of the sea. Some of the trees could be healed and others couldn’t; some spirits were lost forever, and others were preserved through Renjun’s crazy act of selflessness. The ones who couldn’t be saved were given the closest thing to a proper burial that they could achieve. 

It isn’t enough. 

It will never be enough. 

Too many souls were lost today, in the blink of an eye. 

After the pair disappeared into thin air, most likely teleporting away, Jaemin had calmed down enough to be let go, but Chenle had still had to talk him out of his anxiety. 

“Renjun can handle himself,” Chenle had told him. “Promise or not, he’s smart, Nana. He’ll know what to do.” 

Lips trembling, Jaemin had clung to Chenle’s shoulders. “You’re right, of course you’re right. I know that. I’m sorry. I love you.” Jaemin had stifled a sob into his neck, hugging him close one last time before flicking his frilled ear affectionately and disappearing into the forest. Chenle had watched him go, feeling completely and utterly powerless. 

And so, Chenle finds himself at the palace, too scared to swim within its walls. He doesn’t even know if Jisung is still in his realm or if he went home to his land above water, and his power and essence are so drained that he can’t even sense him. 

He knows that dating a mortal is going to be difficult. Has for a while, really, ever since they met nine years ago. When one is immortal, or at least long-lived, and your partner is not, it can be very hard to reconcile needs. He knows that his world is not made for Jisung, by no fault of their own, and that it might never be, ever again, just as he knows Jisung’s world will never be accessible to him, chained to his river as he is. 

There will be issues they will have to work out, and milestones in their relationship they’ve yet to reach. Chenle loves Jisung, he really does, but sometimes he thinks about when he’ll leave him. If his best friend, his favourite human, his boyfriend, will ever decide that he craves a normal life, one on the surface and not in the riverbeds. If he’ll want children someday with a woman, children that Chenle can’t give him, or children to care for with a man who isn’t Chenle. If he’ll want someone who can actually grow _old_ with him. 

Truthfully, he doesn’t know why the island has brought these fears back to life within him, but it has, and they’re threatening to overwhelm him. 

Perhaps it is because he has to hide Jisung. 

Perhaps it is because of the fear that still lingers within him concerning Haechan and the power of his flames. 

Perhaps it is because he still tastes the ash of his brethren and knows that it could have just as easily been him turned to nothing but water vapour and regrets. 

Perhaps it is because...because Chenle _loves_ Jisung. It’s only natural to want to best for your loved one and want to cherish them and lift them up, so perhaps it’s natural to wonder if you’ll ever be enough for them. Perhaps it’s natural to wonder if you _deserve_ them, or, in Chenle’s case, if he deserves the trials that come with the nymph himself. 

Gliding into the castle as his fears abound within him, Chenle wills himself to calm down. All around him, the remnants of the old world he used to take care of assault his eyes as if mocking him. They seem to say, _look what has happened before when gods have trusted humans. Look at the ruins of your kingdom._

When he finds Jisung in their corner of the castle, quietly asleep atop a bed of river weeds, his anxiety slows, his soul soothing just a little. His love looks so peaceful among the gentle sway of the plants, head pillowed atop his arm, sleeping on his side. 

How is it that a world can exist with such polarizing emotions: inconceivable horror and such heart-shattering goodness?

Chenle swims over carefully and runs his webbed fingers over his hair gently, brushing the ends of it out of his face. He replaces the bubbles under his nose to ensure Jisung can still breathe, and he lays down next to him quietly, wrapping an arm around his torso and cuddling close as if their proximity can chase the images of fire and thoughts of abandonment from his head. 

Just as he’s closing his eyes, Jisung’s voice rasps through the water. 

_I can feel your restlessness, my love._

_It’s nothing, Sungie. Go back to sleep._

Jisung rolls over, adjusting Chenle so that his head pillows atop his chest, an arm around him. _If you’re worried about something, it is not nothing._

 _I just—_ Chenle pauses to think for a moment and collect his thoughts. _What if no one can contain Haechan?_ He asks, settling for the lesser of his two worries. 

_Is he the new deity?_ Jisung’s fingers stroke the hair at the back of his head soothingly while his other hand plays with Chenle’s fingers that are splayed across his torso. He nods, and Jisung hums, the sound vibrating through the water. 

_Is he still on rampage, then?_

_No. Renjun managed to calm him down and take him away._

_Then it sounds to me like someone does have him under control._

_But that’s not for sure._

_But he listens to him, you said. You know, love, I think the biggest issue for you guys is that you don’t know how to relinquish control. Sometimes it’s okay not to know or not to be entirely assured of something. Nothing comes with certainty all of the time, and sometimes you have to take things at face value. It’s the not knowing what’s going to happen next that keeps us all alive, right?_

Chenle presses himself closer to Jisung once again and tries to contain the warmth that swells inside him. How is it that Jisung always knows what to say to make him feel better, no matter the thing no matter the time? 

And he’s right, too. _Control._ They had tried to control Haechan, and it had cost many their lives. They had tried to control the worship of humans so many years ago, and it had cost many their existences. He wished he had more control over his and Jisung’s futures, and it caused him this anxiety he’s grappling with right now. 

Jisung is right. Chenle needs to learn how to relinquish control. 

_Have I ever told you you’re magic?_ Chenle hums quietly, leaning up to press a kiss to the edge of Jisung’s jawline. _You always know just what to say._

 _I just know you._ Jisung smiles down at him, kissing his temple softly. _It’s been a long time, hasn’t it, Chenle?_

 _It has, Jisung, it has,_ he thinks but doesn’t say. Instead, feeling the words start to choke him with how honest they are, how much emotion is behind them, he says: _I love you. More than there are fish in the sea._

 _‘Fish in the sea’, hm? Why not your river?_ Jisung teases, ruffling Chenle’s hair. 

_Because it’s not as impressive if I say river! You can probably, like, count all of my fishy subjects in less than an hour! That’s not romantic at all!_

Jisung laughs. _Well, I love you too, Lele._

Chenle warms the water around them just to hear that beautiful giggle again, but when he does, he musters up the courage to ask what he _really_ wants to. 

_Jisung?_

_Yes, love?_

_Would you ever want to live on land again? Properly, I mean, not just for work?_

Jisung sits up to look at him, cupping Chenle’s face in his hands like he always loves to do. _Are you worried I doubt our relationship?_

 _No..._ Chenle trails off at the stern look Jisung sends him. _Yes...maybe...ugh, I don’t know!_ He closes his eyes to hide from Jisung’s stupidly kind eyes. _I just...I just worry that someday you’ll realize that living under here, with me, isn’t what you want. That my lifestyle is too unconventional or too...permanent for you and you’ll leave me all alone to rot under here with Naja and the rays or something._ His ears fold back against his head with embarrassment. 

His boyfriend taps his nose and rubs a finger under his eye a few times. _Hey. You don’t have to worry about that at all, love, and I’m so sorry you’ve felt this way for so long._

Chenle slowly blinks his eyes open to see Jisung in front of him, brown eyes so effortlessly warm as always, piercing his blue ones with a look so loving it brings tears to his eyes. 

_I want you to know that this is what I want,_ Jisung continues, smiling sweetly when Chenle reaches up to hold onto his forearms. _I want you, Chenle, and everything that comes with that. I want to live with you in your realm and talk to your subjects, I want to skip stones across the river with you like we did when we were children; I want your spiritual side and your personal side, I want to know your friends and I want to grow old next to you. I love you. But you have to trust me, okay? Trust in our love and know that I’ll always come back to you, no matter what._

Chenle outright bursts into tears on spot.

But, underwater it’s considerably less dramatic than it would be on the surface. Instead, he just makes an unflattering face that Jisung litters with kisses, cooing quietly. 

_I’m—so sorry—I’m such a, an insecure fool,_ Chenle hiccups, falling into Jisung’s arms and crawling into his lap so he can bury his face in the soft skin of his neck. 

_You have nothing to apologize for, my love._ Jisung holds his head to him to help contain the sobs and hugs him close, running a soothing hand over his back, fingers splayed out wide. 

_I love you so, so much, Jisung,_ Chenle hiccups, fisting his fingers in his boyfriend’s shirt. He wants to hold onto this moment forever, this indescribable feeling of unconditional love in the aftermath of such penetrating fear, and bask in it forever. 

_And I, you, Chenle_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! I appreciate all of you, and feel free to leave a comment or a kudos to let me know what you thought! Xoxo
> 
> Twitter: @MateStardust


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